Knocked Up

When I was sitting in the doctor’s office in utter belief hearing “You’re pregnant” come out of the nurse practitioner’s mouth. I had gone in their office to find out what my fertility treatment options, but clearly I did not need any at all!

Leaving the office, I immediately called Charles but he didn’t answer his phone. I needed to share this information ASAP so BFF is next up. She answered and I scream into the phone the exciting news. I finally got to share the news with Charles and together we were excited for what the future held for us. We’re going to be parents. Mommy and Daddy. Our first child. The start of a new chapter in our lives.

Before we get too excited about all of this goodness, I was 3 days away from my friend’s bachelorette party in Cabo San Lucas. At an all-inclusive resort. Well shit. What am I going to do? I couldn't skip drinking because it’s a girls weekend celebrating her impending wedding. And my friends know that I like to enjoy many cocktails.

I devised a plan that I would order a drink when the girls ordered and then excuse myself to talk to the server to switch the drink to non-alcoholic. That worked a few times, but I didn’t plan for when they ordered FOR me. I’ll admit, I did have a sip or two of alcohol on the flight down. In hindsight, this was not my finest hour. I tried nursing the beverage hoping that my friends didn’t notice that I wasn’t drinking it.

Once we got settled to the resort, we were sitting down for dinner when I started getting nauseous. I went off to use the restroom and got sick. Hooray morning sickness, didn’t you know that I was in Cabo on vacation? You’re a real pill.

My friends got worried and a couple came to check on me. I couldn’t hide my secret anymore. Time to share the news. At the table, I finally shared that I was indeed pregnant, which I felt horrible sharing because I didn’t want to take away from celebrating my friend. Naturally, everyone was excited and there was a sense of relief finally getting that off of my chest. The rest of the trip was still great despite being sober while the rest were not.

Back home, Charles and I settled in planning our future. But little did we know that we couldn’t plan for what was in store. No one could.

Let's Do This (or at Least Try to)

Soon after our November 2013 wedding, Charles and I decided to grow our family. My bestie, bless her, for being the ultimate rockstar by helping me plan my wedding, by being my matron of honor at NINE freaking months and delivered at almost 42 weeks. In her situation, she got off the pill, her husband sneezed at her and BOOM, knocked up. Ok, not really, but she did get pregnant almost immediately. I soon learned, that she is the exception and definitely not the rule.

With my Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, I knew that it was going to be an uphill battle. Timing was a challenge along with there was no guarantee that I’d even ovulate. My Primary Care Provider (PCP) had a plan of attack for this using her methodology. She said that we needed to get my thyroid and insulin levels in check despite the fact that they were on the upper tip of normal range. I had to stop taking my antidepressant which made me an emotional wreck. This definitely didn’t help with the added stress of getting pregnant.

First month - Negative

Second month - Negative

Third month - Negative

After the third month, my PCP said that as I approach months 4-5 if I don’t get pregnant I may have to explore adding fertility medication to increase the chances of ovulating. I know that other doctors have a different approach when it comes to pregnancy and infertility but this was my experience. My doctor was going to get me pregnant.

Fourth month - Negative

I scheduled an appointment with an OBGYN to start the conversation of starting medication. Prior to the appointment, I had to get my blood drawn. I’m now sitting in the stark white patient room waiting to be seen. Then the Nurse Practitioner comes in and says “Well, I’m sure glad to see you today.” Well, that’s a nice way to start a doctor’s appointment.

She then asks me why I’m there to see her and I explain my months of trying to get pregnant. Then she hits me with the news I did not expect to hear.

“You’re pregnant.”

I've got what on my ovaries?!

**Note, I’m not a doctor. I don’t play one on TikTok, IG, or FB. This is my personal opinion yo.**

I was told in my mid-20s that I had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Dafuq…???

Evidently, I’ve got all of these tiny itty bitty cysts all over my ovaries. While not as scary as it sounds, it totally wreaks havoc on your attempts to get pregnant. It’s a real bitch because sometimes it prevented me from ovulating. You know, that’s 50% of the process of GETTING PREGNANT! That time of the month, yeah that was all messed up too.

On top of that, it caused my skin to be a hot mess because of the increased (male) androgen hormones. (Thank you Rodan + Fields Unblemish for clearing my acne all up). Oh and the extra peach fuzz on my face. Helllooooo waxing!

Can it be cured? Not from what Dr. Google says but it can be managed. Losing weight. But here’s the kicker, there’s also extra insulin being pumped through your body. Which makes it HARD to lose weight.

Is it a form of infertility? I guess so. And if you do get pregnant, there are added potential risks to an already scary process. Premature birth or death, gestational diabetes or type 2 after the fact, sleep issues, depression and anxiety.

Stick a fork in me, I’m done.

But having a healthy and easy pregnancy is possible. Unfortunately, my journey to motherhood was a hard found battle but I came out the other side..

More to come.